Awarded monthly following a vote by ISMS members
| Month | # | ism | Author of source |
| July | 1855 | We were so busy at work, we were up to our earballs | Alison Cleveland |
| June | 1852 | What is your ETA ...... expected time of getting here? | Nancy |
| May | 1829 | I want to talk to the organist, not the monkey grinder | Don Overall |
| April 2010 | 1807 | 'So you're Dutch? Are you phoning from Dutch now? .........er the Netherlands now?' | Jeremy Vine (BBC Radio2) |
| March | 1815 | In a word, I don't know! | MH |
| February | 1805 | I had no trouble driving in the snow; my Range Rover's got tracksuit control | 'Just Gents' hairdresser |
| January | 1800 | In Comprehensive Performance Assessment (CAA)...... | Ben Page in the MJ 17/12/2009 |
| December | 1788 | But unless they buck their socks up ...... | Len Goodman ('Strictly' judge, 21/11/09) |
| November | 1778 | Yes, Newcastle (soccer team) have been papering over the craps....er..cracks for weeks! (right first time - Ed.) | Mick Lowes (Radio Newcastle) |
| October | 1775 | Are you reading that paper you're sitting on? | Don Overall |
| September | 1752 | So we discovered at the eleventh minute it was wrong | KF |
| August | 1749 | You ought to keep that for prosperity | Andy |
| July | 1748 | Yorkshire and Humber SHA accused of grilling gender change patients | Health Service Journal |
| June | 1414 | The assessment of children's needs is still in its infancy | Hospital Executive Director |
| May | 1710 | I'm sitting here listening to the two minutes silence! | PB |
| April 2009 | 1738 | Look on the Council website under 'frequently answered questions'. | Local government officer |
| March | 1705 | I'm as deaf as a bat! | Nancy (from NS) |
| February | 1691 | How can Scott Gibbs get picked for the British Lions... he's Welsh! | Barry Smith |
| January | 1708 | They're going to give us a sit down walk through! | Ste Pittey |
| December | 1707 | I'll take you round to the theatre office, in case you get lost, because this place is like a rabbit hutch! | Theatre clerk |
| November | 1692 | Well they weren't logs as such, they were more like trees with no branches! | Johnny Johnson |
| October | 1419 | That's put us at the forefront of the vanguard | The President of the ISMS |
| September | 1303 | He's got me to thank for passing his exams. After Allen left, I was his minotaur. | Fievel |
| August | 1442 | I was working, long before you were an apple in your mother's eye | Fievel |
| July | 1510 | Should I print it portrait or landslide? | Debra Canning |
| June | 1504 | Trumpet voluntary - solo for younger players in Bb | Keith Terret |
| May | 1503 | Penny says it's urgent. She wants it S.A.A.P. | Jane Harriman |
| April 2008 | 1486 | So, the final score is 3-1. But 3-1 is not a reflection of the final score. | Radio Newcastle sports reporter |
| March | 1495 | This steam cleaner will get into all the little crooks and all the little nannies. | Demonstrator on Idealworld TV |
| February | 1490 | Tony likes to make things secure. He screws everything up. | Debra Canning |
| January | 1487 | Rail travel is an area where we have established a track record over a number of years. | National Express East Coast |
| December | 1482 | From now on I'm going to keep a firm eye on him! | Peggy Mitchell (Eastenders) |
| November | 1461 | She's the head poncho! | Fievel |
| October | 1450 | It's a case of don't shoot me, I'm only the piano player | Fievel |
| September | 1428 | Everything in the henhouse was fine until a double-edged sword came flying in. | Fievel |
| August | 1377 | I was made the escaping goat for that mistake | Baz Cox |
| July | 1390 | I'm actually dictating the letter as we speak ... | Baz Cox |
| June | 1328 | She's just like her mum; she's a cardboard copy | Lindy Lewis |
| May | 1373 | The Project Definition Document (PID) ... | Durham IA Service |
| April 2007 | 1372 | Caution soup may become hot on heating! | ASDA - soup label |
| March | 1371 | If people are off sick then we will have to step into the brink! | Debra Canning |
| February | 1207 | It looks like something neither you or I have seen land on Mars since 1952. | Fievel |
| January | 1367 | It's a bit of a loose cannonball in my mind at the moment | Debra Canning |
| November | 1360 | Question marks will have to be asked about that performance | Gary Bennet (SAFC) |
| October | 1334 | I've got given a white cat ..... it was as deaf as a dodo! | Fievel |
September | 1327 | There’s something wrong but I can’t quite put my head on it! | Liddy Lewis |
August | 1310 | They had everything at their reception, it was all whistles and flutes. | Fievel |
July | 1263 | It seems like a renegade step | Debra Canning |
June | 1247 | I was Bismarked below the waterline ... It was a whole flotilla of cannonballs | Fievel |
May | 1198 | Since our last match we have remained unbeaten! | Iain Dowie |
April 2006 | 1236 | They’re proceeding at a slug’s pace! | Fievel |
March | 1242 | I can't be expected to pull a lawyer out of a rabbit! | John Vercoe |
February | 1247 | Q: name the only English league soccer team to start with five consonants! A: AEIOU united? | James Munden |
January | 1243 | It’s a moving goal post feast! | John Vercoe |
December | 1122 | Honestly, some people couldn’t organise a pee-up in a brothel! | Fievel |
November | 1184 | Braille, that’s so the deaf can read! | Stephen Graham |
October | 1193 | Well that 1-0 win got us a foot in the hat for Saturday’s draw! | Gary Bennett |
September | 1185 | I'm shattered today, I was aroused last night by boisterous neighbours | Ruth |
August | 1179 | That dog's as mad as a hatter from planet cuckoo land. | Fievel |
July | 1139 | How old was Dawn's baby when it was born? | Joanne McDonnagh |
June | 1136 | I've been on Friend's Reinvented | Fievel |
May | 1125 | Just look at that dog, it's full of the beans of Spring! | Brenda |
April 2005 | 1108 | I'm not worried about market testing. We're hands and knees above the firms! | Ray Morris |
March | 1078 | Then, woe & betide, this happens! | Neil Warnock |
February | 1055 | Let's look at the annual tasks that we do every year! | Martin Green |
January | 1037 | I couldn't seem to make head nor sense of it! | Fievel |
December | 959 | Take that advice with a dose of salts | Sandy McGivern |
November | 991 | I'm easy-easy-over like a boiled egg! | Fievel |
October | 964 | It wasn't the last time, it was the time after that! | Will Greenwood |
September | 902 | He went off like a bag of prawns in the midday sun | Will Greenwood |
August | 483 | Make sure every stone is unturned | Diane Callagher |
July | 922 | Zwei grand bier, sil vous plait | Chris Keylock |
June | 906 | They've shot the hand that laid the golden goose | George Reynolds |
May | 901 | I had them eating putty out of my hands | Joe Papworth |
April 2004 | 903 | Surgeon suspended over a bowl of soup! | GMTV News |
March | 847 | I won't be shoe-horned into a cul-de-sac | Fievel |
February | 848 | That's just oil under the troubled bridge | Geoff Norris |
January | 15 | We were up to the kneeballs in snow | The ISMS President |
December | 274 | He was getting a major share of the lion's cake | Phil Carruthers |
November | 793 | It's as dead as a nit! | David Prestwich |
October | 38 | Have you got the Z to Y street guide? | The ISMS President |
September | 624 | It's a plain clothes police car | Peter Morgan's wife |
August | 681 | She can't be a spinster, she's never been married | Tim |
July | 693 | I wouldn't fancy a motorbike, but I wouldn't mind a sidecar | Tim |
June | 512 | The sun sets over that hill every morning | Lady on BBC2 TV |
May | 488 | While you're working, try to remember what we talked about tomorrow (he meant yesterday) | Russ Pottinger |
April 2003 | 174 | I'm better than any one of them put together | The ISMS President |
