The ISMS once-a-year Annual Gala Dinner Menu
Starters
Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger
Prawn cock and tail
Scots Broth
Horse Ders
Mini Stronie Soup
Hard boiled soup
Inner of cattle soup
Salad or soap
All served with Gaelic bread or a bum
***
Main Courses
Smoked Solomon
Sheep leg
Cowboy meat
Domestic life beef
Chicken Poodles
Quick Lorraine
Calf's Dong
Snake and Kidney pie
Malarian chicken
Tantobie chicken
Mushy pies and chips
Roasted duck let loose
Duck on a range
Peasant under glass
Boiled Frogfish
Beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion
Fission chips
Seafood of the period
Tuma Knickers
Fried of the house
Garlic sausages to hell
Scorch Egg
Pork with fresh garbage
Cowboy meat
Pork filthy to the furnace to impress
Carpe Diem – Fish of the day
Carbon burns fatty cow
Delicious grilled snakes
God fillet in sauce
all main courses served with a selection of
Dolphin's knees potatoes
Potatoes to the French
Potatoes in their shirts
Courageous potatoes
French fried ships
Pelaw Rice
Carrycot Beans
Mixed boils to pick
Horse rare dish source
French crips
French friends
*** Deserts
Randy Snaps
Sweat from the trolley
Raspberry nipple cheesecake
Strawberry crap
Special today - no ice cream
Maroons with desecrated coconut
Chocolate mouse
French creeps
Cashew nots
Rice pooping
Note: Our ice cream contains dairy products
*** Sandwiches
Turkey £3.50, Beef or Chicken £3.00, Children £1.50
Tuna with may and nase
Toes with butter or jam
*** Liquid Drinks
Pimps No1 Cup
Sprit
Garlic Coffee
Died Pepsi
Defacinated coffee
Black coffee without milk
Coffee with semi-skilled milk
Ground coffee tea bags
A Cravat of Wine
Spanish Shangrila
Bleak coffee
Coffee with mice pies
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts
*** If you don't fancy any of the above please ask to see our capo-de-monte menu ***
Notes for diners
Our whipped butter is made with margarine
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
You will be able to eat all you wish until you are fed up.
Please do not bring in outside food. Excluding children under 5.
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Parking spaces available for drive-though customers only!
Alcoholic drinks will not be served to miners.
24 hour bar service available between 7am and 11pm.
The Lounge is open seven days a week - closed Sundays
Customers who find our waiters rude should see the manager.
Open 24/7 Monday to Saturday If our toilet is out of order - please use the floor below ***
Tips for the waiters?
Don’t bend down in revolving doors
When you have emptied the tea pots, please stand upside down in the draining board
The floor is wet and slippery; fall down carefully!
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money
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